disco_lemonade4

The smoke and sulfur has finally settled from this great countries national carbon emission day. No holiday pisses me off more than this one, where a clear night air and skyline is clouded more than my hotboxed purple probe outside OMSI before a Floyd light show. This year I brought back an old semi tradition of mine to strap doll parts to an exploding rocket. What could be more fun and patriotic than a baby dolls head flying through the air meeting its brightly lit demise. The only difference this time was I had adult supervision, and encouragement.

Independent declarations:
My brother is dating a girl two years younger than me that he taught while teaching theater at WSU. What bothers me the more is that she's a terrible actress.
I graduated with a degree I'll never use, because I'm becoming a professional tarot reader.
My boyfriend of two + years sang China Girl at a karaoke place and now it is impertinent that I marry him and have his child, plus his last name is Jones, and I have to keep my word.
I broke out and had a major skin allergic reaction today to Cheeto Cheese Corn Puffs, then submerged myself in a bath filled with oatmeal.

I don't know what point I'm trying to get at, or what I am trying to say.
My tattoo itches, and it makes me miss you like hell.
People change, I'm a different person but still so confused.
And this reminder will never come off.

My partner just informed me of his Fathers true opinion of me, which he shared over pints on his last visit.
"I love Jackie, but she is a fucking idiot"

This is the first time anyone(that actually knows me) has ever said that regaurding my intelligence. Now I've become so obsessed with that statement and am taking various IQ tests online.

The bitch of that is, there are so many commercial offers you have to accept you never really get your results. Ones intelligence should go up ten points for not even trying one of them.

1. Middle Name: http://dark-unicorn-collectibles.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4101218

2. Age: 8,203 days old

3. Single or Taken: Taken by surprise, wanna go for drinks later?

4. Favorite Movie: Pink Flamingos

5. Favorite Song or Album: Crypto-zoology photography album 3

6. Favorite Band/Artist: David Bowie, but we're no longer on speaking terms since the last time I saw him in concert.

7. Dirty or Clean: Shamwow!

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Not enough

10. What's your philosophy on life? Mind your manners.

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? In either case something is still missing.

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? considering that 'you' don't exist in the strictest sense of the term... "WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?"

13. What is your favorite memory of us? That time we drove over the US Mexico border in a giant van made entirely out of weed. Those were some crazy times.

14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? All pleasures are considered innocent until proven guilty, and I know my rights.

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: I'm left handed which means slightly dyslexic. Go Bnaanna!

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they? To be a successful Tarot Adviser, climb a big grassy mountain and kick rocks down it. Be the first wiped out in the upcoming world ending natural disaster

17. Can we get together and make a cake? A nail bomb would be simpler.

18. Which country is your spiritual home? Aquitaine in southwest France.

19. What is your big weakness? Hummus, and moving water I can't tare my eyes away.

20. Do you think I'm a good person? I thought you were the good one?

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school? Theater, which was where I ate my lunch everyday in high school.

22. Describe your accent: French, I lift the ends of my words and speak at an audible fucking level you American loudmouthed Cochons!

23. If you could change anything about me, would you? I'd turn you into a real boy!

24. What do you wear to sleep? Nothing, its fucking June. My cat Oona O'Neil Chaplin, but she's naked too.

25. Trousers or skirts? Leggings.

26. Cigarettes or alcohol? Wow, you gonna go all "Sophie's Choice" on me dog?

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? Find a nice shady place outside for you to curl up and die alone in.

28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? Oh yeah, I'll call you tomorrow... But I darn you know, my apartments getting fumigated and I have a really early meeting in the morning my brother is coming to stay.... But I'll call you when my schedule dies down a little, that way you have my full attention. Your sweet, and thanks for a great night. *wink*

And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine
But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only.
Bob Dylan

T. Rex makes me want to shoot heroin.

I'm graduating this spring, and I can't wait to move back to Portland.
I'm directing my first production of the graphic novel "The Virgin Project", and I may be fucked.
I got choked onstage by my lover and partner during rehearsal, and all I could think of was my brother doing the same thing in high school during rehearsal. I secretly hate him for this.
I lost my virginity at 15, but at least he scored over 1400 on his SAT's.
I clean out my pores with a magnifier mirror every other night.
I'm torn between becoming my mother and my farther, so that makes my mental state their marriage.
I'm still surprised when I see my tats in the shower.
I smoke weed with my parents.
I'm convinced my left-handedness will lead me to future permanent schizophrenia.
I walk around with "Road to Nowhere" by the talking heads on repeat in my head.
I don't worry about the distant future, because it's certain we'll all be dead.
I can't describe my outlook on life without being put on suicide watch.
I'm prepared for the inevitable outcome that my brother and I will be distant relatives in our later 20's.
I look forward to each coming day more than ever before in my life.

"But it really doesn't matter. No, life's a gas. I hope it's gonna last."- Marc Bolan

Yeah, I'm listening to the Labyrinth Soundtrack today.

You wanna fight?

Sometimes I worry that I will be internally forever
disappointed in my future offspring if s/he isn't
born Left-Handed.


Wait... No. I know I will.

I can now live my life no longer feeling guilty for
smoking pot in the 7th grade.

http://www.pennlive.com/newsflash/pa/index.ssf?/base/news-72/1238539772291110.xml&storylist=penn

I have been crying all day listening to Cabaret.

We have lost a great actress, and the best Sally Bowles next to Liza.

She's going like Elsie.

Start by admitting
From cradle to tomb
Isn't that long a stay.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Only a Cabaret, old chum,
And I love a Cabaret!

Yeah! So I went on a GTA IV cop and pedestrian killing spree
with my pipe bombs, automatic rifels, grenade launchers to
Dario G's "Dream to Me". What of it?

"All my life....
Is changing everyday
In every possible way!"

Honey, its our second valentines day.

As I sat in the deserted Thai joint dumbfounded by my plate of Pad Thai. It was truly a work of culinary genius and decades of perfection, it had no fake orange tint but it was brought out by the carrots and balanced by the sprouts. The softness of the noodles, the crunch of the peanuts but most of all the underlying taste of lime. Could this dish of perfection be valentines day? Its burnt orange instead of red and pink, it makes you feel all warm and good inside and not because you opted not going to the pizza joint next door. Startled I remembered my partner across from me lost in his giant bowl of pho. I began to wonder why people force themselves to go out to dinner on this former saints day. Inevitably both parties end up pushing their food around with almost nothing to say. The pad thai did all the talking for me tonight.

Call me cruel, call me insensitive, call me hilarious but I am preemptively planning my
Patrick Swayze Wake Party. Yahweh willing this will happen before summer hits, and will
offically be held the Saturday following his death. There will be Beer, there will be
hotwings, there will be Marlboro's a plenty but most of all there will be a Swayze day
Marathon from noon till midnight!

Here's my Picks:
Road House
To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
Tall Tale
Red Dawn
Ghost
Black Dog
Donnie Darko
Dirty Dancing
Point Break

Not the order yet, but Point Break must be shown last. DAMMIT IT HAS TO BE AN EPIC EXIT!

Anyone game? Any ideas?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddd........



I've graduated.

A year ago I had a Residential Assistant on campus that was from Jefferson County Colorado. Smoking late one night at the tent, I mentioned that I was involved with the rocky horror picture show. Quickly she pointed at her shoes saying that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold the Columbine Shooters once complimented her on the very pair of shoes she was wearing. Confused, I made a "Point of Clarification!" statement wondering why this had anything to do with the aforementioned topic. She replied in a calm voice: They were lighting kids for rocky horror at the local theater midnight show. I was stunned by this only because I wasn't surprised.

Eric Harris, and Dylan Klebold are superstar examples of what rocky can drive you to do.
*wink*

PS. This one's for you Scott, I miss you like hell.

Only 4% of Americas population is left-handed and a woman.
I adjust quicker to seeing under water.
I am more susceptible to the effects of drugs and alcohol.
I'm also three times more likely to become an alcoholic, or a scientist.
3 out of 4 diagnosed pedophiles are left handed.
4 out of the 5 original designers of Macintosh computers were left handed.
I live 9 years less on average than a right handed person.
My level of intelligence will never be found in my multiple choice test scores.
Polar bears are left handed.
I read magazines backwards.
I eat my hamburgers upside down.
I can see the forest not the trees.
I am a savant.

I had an argument with you in my the other day.
I thought you were being totally unreasonable, and I was right.
But you kicked my ass for three cigarettes outside at 1:34 in the morning.
So now, I think I understand.

For the longest time I have always had a complete and utter disgust for the city of Tacoma. Personally I feel that the city of Tacoma is the second cousin that Spokane, Washington got pregnant when he prematurely ejaculated in a "tough shed" approximately 60 yards behind the unemployment office. To be fair, there is probably a few hip, and unique neighborhoods sprouting from dilapidated warehouse buildings that used to house industrial carpet and flooring. A city that is so unruly an entire genre of music is banned from being performed. I mean, that may of been radical in the 80's but Kevin Bacon isn't gonna save yer precious right to dance anymore Tacoma.... You FUCKED UP! Nothing I ever read that was horrific or queer in the newspaper surprised me in the least until today.

Apparently, a six year old boy was attending a monster rally truck extravaganza at the Tacoma Dome(Washington's Tit) when suddenly chaos struck. Who would have thought or have seen for that manner, a piece of metal the size of a Frisbee and 3/4 of an inch thick would come flying from a Monster Truck that was wildly destroying stacks of futile cars to the blaring sounds of hair metal. Like the silver surfer this shrapnel disk shaved a piece of this kids skull off, it was about three cubic inches big. For a moment, everything was all right until the child went silent and hit the sticky floor of his $15 dollar 5th row seats as if Wolverene went late term abortion on his ass. Security being as tight as it was at such a massive venue for dangerous motor sports, it only took a nearby spectator to beam the security guard with a can of soda he probably paid $2.50 for. But as it is true in all classical, abstract, avant gaurde, nouvo, absurd, dance, darwinistic, mime, street, and extreme forms of performance art "The Show Must Go On!" As it did, astonishingly with little to no notice from the audience and security. So much in fact, that the Saturday night performance went on with out the pesky hitch of the company having to contact the family with any kind of apology or official statement.

Tacoma is a cancer.
Seattle reject the Sea-Tac Union!
They poisoned you're waters by cutting funding for homeless people.
They will infiltrate you're nightlife like a group of long island paralegals blowing their tax refunds on a night out in Manhattan.

Tacoma proves that a city built of the crushed "Rock'n'Roll" dreams of military and post military employees is morally and structurally unsound. More or less progressively stuck at a 7th grade level, yet an overachiever in the production of future Lebowski Urban Achievers.
"WHO GOD? Who will employ all their low income Vo.Tech. college graduates???

When Olympia was under all kinds of scrutiny over the nativity scene at the capitol, and all the santa hater's put up a sign explaining that santa, god, and religion is all bogus. Anyway, a well known Baptist proclaimed "Olympia has become the Armpit of America!" and I laughed and wondered if there was a time when it wasn't. If you think about it, we have lots of growth and rain forest vegetation, it can be very wet and sweaty like a majority of the time. And lastly, if you ever have the opportunity to take a real deep draw of the air in the port or anywhere on the sound in Olympia, any warm day you will discover a hidden tundra in your nasal pallet you never new. Like a fine wine you can taste the different tones of dirt, foliage, light exhaust, blackberries all hued by the oh so powerful completely stagnant salt water. Olympia houses the most pungent types of people, activities, and social rules or engagement.


I am proud to live in an Armpit.

I was just cast as King Ubu from Ubu Roi of the Ubu Plays written by Alfred Jarry.

It took three auditions with the director that ended in me threatening Ben(who plays Queen Ubu) with a knife, that I'd kill him if I didn't get to play the biggest meanest dummest SOB that ever walked the stage. I am thinking of doing a combination of John Wayne Gacy, and Curly Stooge with the same conviction and survival tact of Oroson Welles and William Shatner.

It's good to be back.

I was never cold in your presence, you made my blood simmer.